Drunk in a Bangkok toilet

As I type this, im sittin on the crapper in a shitty bangkok hitel.


bangkok smells, its dirry, its cheap, its un-hygenic, the beer is cheap, the hookers are plenty, the locals are smelly.....but boy is it fun!!!

first nite, we came over after the 13hr flight or whatever.

land in the bangkok airport. taxi man takes us then halfway across thir M50, we get t othe toll bridge, he goes thru, then stops. heres where i frist get scared of bum rape. turns out he was stoppin to ask directions coz he didnt know where he was goin. he brouht us to the wrong place too in the end. had to get a local to show us. bags were heavy. so we get here anyway. go on the beer. i get shitfaced. them lot went asleep, i went solo. got shitfaced. even more!! al the locals start bein super nice to me to get money off me. i ended up gettin a full tour of the city for 5baht. google it. its like 20c. fo an hour. he brought me to a shop too to buy beer then while i bought a suit he got me ice and put it in me bag of cans so they'd stay cold. was cool. so ye, we went to all these sacred temples and churches. i saw a few monks. i was shitfaced, as i am now. havin a poo. a number 2. how are you. dont sniff glue.

so anyway, ye i was on the beeer the whole nite and met random ppl and start givin them abuse. hookers grabbed me cock, i told them to get the boat. next day, i actually got a boat. we saw some decrepid places. it was shit. cant trust this place. feel me bum is always on the table anytime we turn down an alleyway. place smelly.im tryin to think of a good thing about this place.............its cheap. thats it! nearly got rowdy wit a texan. me mate was hammered and was tryin to squeeze passed his chair so basically picked up the chair so he had to stand up so the texan was all like "thats not cool" and all this so anyway, im leavin and he walks out wit us. when they were gettin up to leave, me mate sorta apologised and hadshake and pat on the back. the yank says to me "man, i totally wiped a load of shit in that guys back!!" so im like " eh thats me BEST mate EVER!!" wit some extra exaggeration. like fair enough, i only met him like 2 days ago but still. so the yank was like "oh crap" so im like "eh either ur a liar or ur gonna get bet!"...lol so then he goes ".......im a liar!". i lol'd and he walked off. was gas. that was 2nite tho. lemme think bout last nite.

oh ye it all blends in. i've totally lost track of what day it is and time and all that. i also have a new number. 08-4664-1885. tho im too wasted to remember the diallin code so someone google it for me.

let me think wat else.

oh, theres wild cats all over the place. not normal cats, but skinny diseased lookin scrawny fookers. our alleyway leadin into our hotel seems to be the local toilet too. smell of piss off it. not sure if its the cats or the locals handlin the street side food stalls or what! nearly got in a fight with the tuk tuk drivers today too. lucky there was 6 of u and 3 of them! thats all i can say!

oh and all the locals speak irish too!! its gas!! brilliant!! oh and i insulted a belgian and a german and a 34yr old english fella whpo kept speakin like h was black!! the abuse i gave him! WAF!!

i'll think of more stuff to update yis wit. cant rememer it all. there'll be no pics for ages either. i've 250 photos. 750mb!! not a chance of gettin upploaded

so anyway, 22k in baht for everything for rest of month except beer money!!!! breakfast, din dins, accomodation, travel.....all paid for.

beach tomorrow. gonna be amazin. oz on 25th july. flyin to sydeny but not stayin. turns out we've a connecting flight straight to cairns so im gonna be miles away from me mates and me parents, who booked flights to see me in sydney. lol ooops!
so 10hr bus journey 2moro, before paradise. cant wait! i hate bangkok. it smells! bring on oz.....please!!!



oh when i was drunk, the tuk tuk man brought me all over the palce and made me buy a suit for 400euro. best ever suit but dunno how im gonna get it on the plane!!! lovely tho. i wa so wasted and the tailors in the shop start givin me free beer!! lucky gits!! i jsut put their kids thru college!!! lolzers, nite.


ps thank FOOOOOOOOOk for air conditioning!! like seriously, i just go into shops and pretend to look around just coz they have A/C!! serious. its lovely.